Where are my fellow sneezers at?
The torchbearers of allergic rhinitis, sinus issues and all things that cause proud, ballistic launches of bodily fluids. The ones with noses perpetually red enough to throw Rudolph the reindeer out of business.
Why isn’t anyone calling us out?
Clearly, our lives aren’t anywhere as easy as it used to be BC (before COVID)
Remember how we could nonchalantly walk into grocery stores, libraries etc, unfazed by the lack of tissues at our disposal and commence multi-directional sneeze attacks on innocent bystanders and all we would be met with was a “bless you” or an “excuse me”??
Remember how we could candidly blow our noses into washcloths, releasing rivers of green gooey mucus and enjoy the disgust the world now incurs?
Remember the delicious mac and sneeze? The fest of a congested chest? The phlegm mayhem?
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
Gosh, I miss that. Why did we take it for granted?
Because now…. Now if we ever so much as a half sneezed in public, well Holy Virat Kohli, we’d be looked upon as the messengers of the God of Death himself who have appeared to personally infest and exterminate humanity.
We now have to sound like dying walruses and risk our eyeballs popping out all in an effort to hold back a damn sneeze.
For all my fellow sneezers, I hear you.
We are in this together and it is only a matter of time before COVID is behind us and we can enjoy the freedom of unleashing sticky body fluids into our surroundings.
Hang in there, red noses!
[Me, in the midst of a sneeze marathon, triggered by a shithead mosquito that felt the need to explore my nostril]
